This semester I did an independent study at Tunxis with Steve Ersinghaus. The goal was to create a graphic novel. I completed Chapter 1 in time for this semester and plan to have the finished story by the end of next semester.
Below are the last two pages from Chapter 1, sans text. Drawing-wise these are my two favorites.
I’ll be posting the full chapter with text over the next week. I have a lot of clean up to do in Photoshop before I’m happy with the finished pages.
“There’s no where you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.”
This is a philosphy I took from the Beatles and have tried to make a part of my life. When things aren’t going well, I try to stop and look around and figure out what lesson I should be learning from the position I find myself in.
Currently I find myself in another temporary accounting job, and I am not happy. I already know that Finance is not the place for me, perhaps the lesson to be learned this time is that every time I take one of these jobs it’s a step backward for my future as an artist.
An important part of what I’m doing in school right now is building the attitude and psychae of an artist. There is a mindset for being successful that doesn’t come over night. It’s something you have to nurture and grow.
I was on the verge of making a leap in my work and dedication to my art when I took this job. Now I find that I’m letting my school work slide. Partly it’s because the only person I’m letting down in that regard is me, but if I don’t perform to my utmost in this finance job, I’m letting down the people around me.
I am a cog in the machine. Does a cog care about the machine it works in? The machine certainly doesn’t care about me as a person, but as a cog, it’s very aware of my performance.
My mind is expanding beyond this life of being a cog, and each time I take one of these jobs and try to cram myself into the confines of the machine I find the space even more limited.
When this job ends on January 2nd, I am done being part of the machine.
Well, I really let the ball drop on this journal and my writing in general. It’s been a long difficult summer, but things are starting to look up again, and I’m starting to think creatively again. I’ve been taking a class at the Farmington Valley Art Center with Comic Artist, Matt Ryan. When I explained the concept of my Graphic Novel to him, he set up a couple challenges for me.
Comic Conversation
Maybe my idea for a graphic novel based on people who play WoW is a bit too… real, for me. I woke up yesterday with a cartoon in my head. I always wonder how much I should put down here though. What if someone scoops it from me? Hmm.
My Summer Adventure is a go! Las Vegas for the whole summer may not have worked out, but I’ve got a plane ticket that takes me there on August 20th, and another that takes me back from Seattle on August 29th! The ten days between will be spent in a beat up old Acura driving through Arizona down to Tucson, then over to San Diego and all the way up the west coast! I’ll be home right in time for school to start. 
A sparrow lying still on it’s back in the parking lot of the YMCA.
A green face cloth on the floor at the first landing in the stairwell.
A teenage boy pushing a mop on the second floor, community service.
I feel guilty that I haven’t been writing! I keep asking myself, “Do you want to be an accountant for the rest of your life, or do you want to be a story teller?”
The answer is a Story teller, but I want to be able to pay my bills too. Why must these things be mutually exclusive? (I just realized I have no idea why “mutually exclusive” means what it means.)
I’ve been spending my 30 minute lunch breaks reading “Making Comics” by Scott McCloud. (Did you know he changed his name from McLeod? Traitor! No, I’m not a McLeod, I just think a person should keep the name they’re born with! Yes, I debate this with myself all the time, to stay a DiNello or change my name when I get married, IF I ever get married…)
I’ve been spending my dinners and time between work and World of Warcraft reading “Watchmen” by Alan Moore. I partly think I should wait until AFTER the movie comes out to read the Comic, the movie is probably going to just tick me off.
So, between working 40 hours a week, my raid group 8 hours a week, and trying to have a social life, where is the time for writing? I know I know, raid less. But these people are my friends! If I don’t hang out with them I’m all alone! (whine whine)
Ok, I’ve stolen enough time for one day. I’ll write more later I’m sure. Maybe it’ll even have substance.
Finding time to write…
I’m told that writers don’t need to find time to write, they just do it.
I’ve started a full time accounting job. It’ll be for the entire summer. My work ethic provokes me into putting my full attention into the work I need to do. I must become the master of general ledger account numbers, know the ins and outs of payroll, learn all the intricacies of individual workers and the tapestry that’s woven with labor hours and allocation codes. I must be the best and know everything. When I am asked what gl camp memberships come out of, I will rattle off ten digit account codes like I was born with them. This was the life I led for ten years, this is the programming I thought I left behind. It’s all still there.
The last two years of my life as a student of Fine Art feel like a rubber band that was stretched out. Finding myself in this seat at this desk stings like the snap of that elastic resuming it’s relaxed state. This is not where my energy should be.
I need to find time to write every day.
Correction.
I will make time to write every day.
There is a graphic novel revealing itself in glimpses and flashes in my brain. Numbers and gl codes are piling up on top of it and making it hard to see.
Time is something I need to steal. Writing here and now is criminal.
The conflict between where my energy is and where it should be…
Interruptions make it hard to think.
Words on the screen that don’t mean a thing.
At least I wrote something down.
The bent over undead mage looked at her two new recruits, “Welcome to The Guild boys. I’ve got a special assignment for the two of you.”
She took a drag from her pipe, the smoke filtering out the various holes and worn spots in her flesh. The burly orc in front of her fed scraps of meat to the alien crab like monster he called his pet. The undead warlock with the spikey remnants of hair and crooked jaw stared back at the officer, “We’re ready to serve.”
The mage pulled out a newly inked map and handed it to the warlock, “One of our prime healers has gone missing. There was an unfortunate… incident, and we think her mind may have slipped a bit. It happens sometime to the Forsaken, the pressures of their new un-life can make them crack. But this one had potential and we need her back. But, we don’t need everyone in The Guild knowing the situation.”
The warlock eyed the map and handed it to the orc hunter, the expert tracker. “Understood, we can deal with this discretely.”
The mage smiled back, “Good. Your job is to track her, this was her last known dwelling, and determine if she’s salvageable. If so, bring her back. If not, well, we have other operatives who will deal with that.”
(more to come)
I am a writer. Words have meaning. I think the art of writing is knowing how to say what you mean and the ability to mean what you say.
“I wish the best for you, I want you to know that.”
Wishing implies inaction.
Wanting implies action.
To wish someone the best is to stand to one side and take no action to help that person achieve the best. It is often a form of goodbye and implies that the speaker is done with the other person.
“I want you to know that.” To want something implies that the person will take action to get it. In this case, the person wanted the other person to know something, and they took action to make sure it happened.
The recipient now knows that the speaker wishes them the best.
If you switch those two words you get, “I want the best for you, I wish you to know that.”
That statement implies action behind the scenes, the speaker is working to make things better for the other person. It also implies they cannot tell the other person that they are doing this.
This morning I wanted an apple. I went to the fridge and got it. Yesterday, I wished I had some ice cream, but I stayed where I was and did nothing to acheive it. Since I have stopped wishing I could lose weight and have started wanting to be healthier, it was ok to just wish for ice cream.
Changing wish to want is difficult. In a relationship, both people need to want it. If one person is only wishing then, like two people in a boat when only one is actually paddling, the relationship will just go around in circles and never get anywhere.
Changing want to wish is sad and even heart breaking. To go from “I want this to work out” to “I wish it had worked out” implies that someone has given up. And if changing wish to want is difficult, it is even more so when the wish was a want in the first place.
